Google hates me

Who knew that the algorithm of a computer brain could wreak havoc on a micro business.

Well, it has happened.

It looks like Google has officially put me out of business the old fashioned way; organic searches.

My maternity photography site, Maternitybykoren, has enjoyed seven solid years of top-ranking positions for all the key word searches for what I do.

No more.

Now I’m on page 5 or page 12, depending on which analytic you trust.

I may as well be invisible.

So today I absolutely burst into tears looking at the statistics. Web traffic is down officially almost 30%, but if you look at that graph, it looks a whole lot more like 70%.

So what does a tiny, micro business that is highly specialized on just one thing do when Google decides you’re history?

Cry. And then I went to lunch at the Four Seasons with a dear old friend and had a lemon martini. Then I went to Bergdorf’s to look at shoes (something I’ve only done once before) where I observed a beautifully put-together woman of about 60 buy three pair of flats and a pair of heels in three different colors in the Manolo Blahnik section. Then I strolled over to Petrossian and bought a double chocolate, pecan cookie for $3.50.

And then I cried again on the way home. Looks like I’m starting over from scratch. Looks like I have to build a business the old-fashioned way – meeting people face to face. The thought is crippling.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I’m not going to cry any more after today. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to re-invent myself. Wish me luck.

For both men and women, headshots need to convey something both universal and unique. The universal key words I want my headshots to convey are: confident, successful, approachable, competent. The unique or individual key words could be: quirky, creative, funny.

The expressions you want to avoid at all cost are: angry, scared, fearful. I don’t care what line of work you’re in, if your headshot conveys any of these, you will do more harm than good.

I didn’t take this headshot, I pulled it from Las Vegas Luxury magazine. I was so struck by what I thought was an extraordinarily successful commercial portrait that I had to share it.

Dr. Mike Golpa looks confident, approachable, professional, relaxed. If you needed cosmetic dental work, you probably wouldn’t hesitate too long after seeing this face behind the business.

What do you think?

By the way, it is not easy to achieve this combination of messages, especially if you’re uncomfortable in front of the camera.

I get asked this question all the time, “How should I get ready for my photo shoot?” To answer all your photo prep questions, I’ve started compiling a list. Please note that you have to observe many of these tips days in advance.

• #1 Apply lip balm regularly for at least three days before your shoot so your lips are smooth, moist and full.
• Avoid heavy carbohydrates (sandwiches, breakfast breads, cereals, etc.) for at least three hours before your shoot for a long, lean mid-section look.
• #2 Avoid alcohol for at least 24 hours before your shoot so your eyes won’t have excess puffiness.
• #3 If you wear stockings or thigh-highs, buy extra large QUEEN size so they don’t cut into your upper legs and create muffin top thighs.
• #5 If you’re dressing up for Valentine’s Day, choose black first, white second and red last. Men love pretty much any color but red; WOMEN, however, love red!
• #6 To fairly compensate your poochie for the brief humiliation of dressing up, reward him or her with tiny, frequent and tasty liver treats.
• #7 Never, ever get a spray tan before a photo shoot. No matter how pale or pasty you think you are, it’s far more attractive than the orange, uneven, blotchy effect that shows up on your photos. And it doesn’t matter how much you pay for it! There’s one exception: body paint by a professional makeup artist onsite at your shoot!!! In this case, why go tan? Why not gold – or bronze – or even copper?
• #8 Pay attention to what’s going on with the soles of your shoes. In boudoir photos, they will show when you’re belly down with bent knees. If you have a choice between scuffed and brand new, bring brand new. Black is better than tan, red is better than anything. Alternatively, consider painting the bottom of your shoes with nail polish. Any color will do, but I’m particularly fond of red.
• #9 Getting close to the six-week mark for that hair trim? Make that salon appointment before the photo shoot instead of after it.
• #10 Your hands and bare feet will likely show up in your images, so take a look at the condition of your nails a few days before the shoot. If you choose fresh polish, the higher the color contrast is to your skin color, the more your eye will be drawn to these accent points in your prints. So be 100% sure that black or midnight blue polish is the look you want.
• #11 Sleep! Nerves might get the best of you the night before a big photo shoot, so make sure you get a GREAT night’s sleep two days before your shoot.
• #12 Necklines: Women look best with open necklines that lengthen the neck and throat. Choose v-necks, scoop necks, square necks. Avoid cowlnecks and other floppy, busy necklines. Women should also avoid the traditional men’s necklines like polos, button-downs and crewnecks. I love turtlenecks on both men and women.

This hot woman turns 50 this year…so if that’s your scary number, this beauty might steer you in a different emotional direction.

The story behind the outfit has to be told. She said she flew to Las Vegas and told the taxi driver who picked her up at the airport that she wanted to shop where hookers buy their clothes. This lacy, red outfit is what she ended up with. It’s not exactly what I expected – it’s actually quite conservative, don’t you think?

Boudoir photos can be as much of costume shoot as you care to create. This lovely woman had some great props: crops, cropped gloves, a perfectly-fitted red corsett and, of course, an ideal figure.

The best wedding gift a bride could imagine! This gift keeps on giving to both of you – especially as time goes by…

I’m starting a new share idea…how many weeks do you think I’ll manage to keep this up?

I’m donating a photography session for a dog at the Posh Pets Fundraiser at the Douglas Elliman Gallery on December 2, 2011. Suggested donation is $20 with raffle tickets for great prizes.

For more information, visit the Posh Pets Animal Rescue event page.